Category Archives: The Heart
Something I Neither Expected nor Sought (Essay 18 of 52)
By On May 30, 2017

Author’s Note: If you’re a steady reader of this blog, you know I worry about writing in obscurity forever. It’s…

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Stagnation or Spinning Out of Control? (Essay 2 out of 52)
By On January 12, 2017

I started unpacking at 11:00 pm, almost as soon as I walked through the door. And as the contents of…

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Black Father-Daughter Talk
By On June 19, 2016

A podcast featuring a 30-something black woman and her dad, talking about life. Click here to listen. (I hadn’t actually made…

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Dear Future Husband, Please Forgive Me
By On September 18, 2015

In a past life, I slut-shamed my future husband. Except I can’t really call it slut-shaming, because the standards of…

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Shifting Focus
By On August 21, 2015

ME: I had a good life. My program wasn’t what I really wanted, and it was hard to do that…

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I Deserve Love
By On June 9, 2015

I’ve seen an interesting photo on Facebook a couple of times in recent days: In case you can’t see it,…

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Feminist Masquerade
By On February 17, 2015
Mardi Gras type of mask

  I envy Ann Bauer’s life. I began reading her piece for Salon, “‘Sponsored’ by my husband: Why it’s a…

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I Know I’ve Been Changed
By On December 22, 2014

One of the reasons I stopped working on my memoir was because when an agent strongly suggested I adapt my…

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Two Things about Tipping Points
By On September 16, 2014

Someone asked me the following question in a Facebook comment when I posted this article on the similarities between domestic…

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Her body, his seed, and patriarchal “rights”
By On March 14, 2014

I saw a lot of men up in arms on social media yesterday over a New Jersey Superior Court judge’s…

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Living Saved, Single and Unhappy
By On January 14, 2014

While my parents were teaching me to be the best student I could be, my Christian faith taught me to…

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Choosing to Pursue Happiness
By On January 4, 2014

I could have had this blog entry completed and posted yesterday, but I chose to spend time I could have…

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My Best Posts of 2013
By On January 3, 2014

I’m a little late on looking back, but I wrote 67 posts in 2013. Here’s my top 10 list of…

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Rethinking Celibacy
By On November 9, 2013

  April, the only character on Grey’s Anatomy who identifies as Christian and the only one who has conflicts about…

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The Scandal of Losing Community
By On November 6, 2013

As I mentioned in my post about what I’m into, I watch Scandal religiously. I’ve found, however, that I don’t…

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Is there a wrong reason to want a partner?
By On November 4, 2013

I got the following text from my mom at 4:45pm today: “Doing dishes now” I got this text three hours after…

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How Social Justice Work Keeps You Single
By On September 1, 2013

Today is September 1, 2013, so it’s official: it’s been one year since a man asked for my number. To…

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The Right to Have Standards
By On August 10, 2013

“How Promiscuity Is a Form of Self-Mutilation,” the headline read. Since I’m returning to writing a memoir largely about sexuality,…

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A Dual Existence
By On August 7, 2013

  After the Zimmerman verdict, my pastor sent a letter to the congregation expressing his hurt and anger. Near the…

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White Girl Dipped in Chocolate?
By On August 5, 2013

Many years ago, my father said that by the time I have children, they’ll be white kids dipped in chocolate….

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Silenced No More: The VONA Experience
By On July 1, 2013

UPDATE 7/7/2013: People who are better photographers than I am took tons of photos of everyone. Click here to see…

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How Every Christian Can Relate to Homosexuals in the Church
By On March 25, 2013

Last Thursday, Jeff Chu, author of the new book, “Does Jesus Really Love Me? A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search…

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Even When It’s Not on ‘The List’
By On February 8, 2013

I think Olivia Pope was wrong about herself on last night’s “Scandal.” I don’t think she wants painful love (which…

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If the Mayans are Right
By On December 20, 2012
photo - mayan calendar

  If the Mayans are right*, and the world does end on Dec. 21, 2012—does anyone else wonder if the…

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Seeing Sisterhood Change
By On December 11, 2012

Many women have felt sorry for me over the years because I have no sisters. (No brothers either, FYI, but…

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